Overheard At Gen Con

One of the amazing things about Gen Con is being completely and constantly surrounded by gaming culture. Restaurants offer you meals with Apocalypse Ale or Black Pudding for dessert. Random people in the elevator opine on the likely ENnie winners. And everywhere you go, people are talking games and geek culture. Every year, I hear snippets of conversations I wouldn't hear anywhere else, and I do my best to write them down. It often takes a few minutes to get pen to paper, so these may be more paraphrased than quoted, but the gist is intact. (I'd say the intent is clear, but ofttimes I have no idea what the intent was!"

These were al jotted down on my Guest of Honor schedule. Somewhere I have the quotes I wrote down on business cards, which I'll post when I find them.

In no particular order, Things Overheard at Gen Con.

"My waitress just gave me the bird."

"It was the most heroic death I've ever been cheated out of."

"If you can't get rich with a  time machine and Orac, you just aren't trying."

"Yes, I'm a girl. Yes, I know how to play. No, you can't touch them. Unless you win."

Voice 1. "Can my paladin be weary of all humanity, and believe the gods are cruel assholes perpetuating a lame joke?"
Voice 2. "Man, just get the divorce already."

"You boys need to be taking that plastic weapon stuff to your mother. If you need dice or minis I'll buy you some, but I ain't got no money for larping crap."

"The wish has now been vetted by twenty people, and is more than twelve pages long."

Voice 1. "The problem is, none of the campaign's female NPCs are believable."
Voice 2. "Wait, isn't your GM a woman?"
Voice 1. "What does that have to do with anything?"

"Next year, we need to try the Sailor Shoes on before we hit the costume contest."

"The DM said we could use any sources, so I went all Mongoose on his game."

"It's a lot like playing at home, but with less bugs and poop."

"If I can't cheat, I don't play."

"If that next card is what I think it is, I will eat your face. With ketchup."

Voice 1. "Is it savagaed?"
Voice 2. "Very savagaed."
Voice 1. "The most savage?"
Voice 2. "Well... it's pretty dang savage."
Voice 3. "What the hell are you two talking about?!"

"Oh my god, your napkin is yellow. Ours are all white. You've been marked for death!"

"Satanism must not be as profitable as it was in the 90s."

"If I put it in my cleavage, do you think he'll sign my dice?"

"What's the over/under on being eaten by rats?"

"If your gnome isn't a spellcaster, you're doing it wrong."

"The GM didn't cry until the second hour. With us, that's a record!"